My 20s did not end up being the “Time of My Life” as I thought it’d be.
Instead, it was my 30s.
When I turned 20, I told myself: This is it.
This is the most exciting period of my life.
✨ You start making money and you can spend as you wish
✨ There are no real obligations yet (no kids, no mortgage)
✨ You’re free to explore and be who you are
✨ You have all the energy in the world to work hard AND play hard
But what I wasn’t expecting?
💭 That I’d be so lost in my career despite having ticked all the right boxes
💭 That I could lose so much self-confidence from a job that was not the right fit
💭 That each day at work felt soooo long yet the years would fly by without really accomplishing much I felt proud of
And to make myself feel better, I threw money at the problem -
I’d buy luxury bags
Splurge on fancy meals
Escape on weekend trips
And it served as a bandaid, temporarily numbing the giant hole in my heart from a lack of purpose and fulfilment in my career.
But that pit in my stomach never went away.
Until I turned 30.
I remember being so scared of turning 30 - it seemed so old in my mind back then.
But now looking back, I’m so glad my 20s are behind me.
I honestly feel so much happier and at peace with myself because I learned these 3 lessons -
1️⃣ Figure out what your career values are
I know what my values are and I’m very sure of them as they will bring my career happiness.
Flexibility, autonomy, and growth are just three of them.
These determine my career direction.
I used to think it had to be money, prestige, and status – but nope. Those are just what society told me.
But they weren’t my own.
2️⃣ Focus on what you can control
Being the Type A control freak can be tough, especially when there’s so much uncertainty in life.
I used to fret over the smallest things; things that I knew rationally I could never hope to change.
But since I’ve entered my 30s, I’ve become much better at letting go AND knowing what I can do to improve my situation.
And that has given me a peace that I never knew I could have.
3️⃣ Stop listening to everyone else’s advice and put your dreams first
I used to be the Perfect Model Asian.
Good grades, prestigious job, shiny resume – you name it.
Were those my dreams? Nope.
But I was afraid of dreaming of something else.
Now that I'm in my 30s, I’ve learned to prioritise my aspirations and focus on the things that I can control
And I’m so much happier now.
So if you’re also looking to build a career you love instead of constantly chasing external validation?
Send me a msg “BUILD” and join my clients from BCG, Goldman Sachs, Google and more to break free from your golden handcuffs and build a “perfect for you” career.
