I can’t stand bullshit.
If I see it, I’ll call it out.
And when I was young, that used to get me into a lot of trouble.
I’d have grown-ups say, “Who are you to say that?”
Over time and especially over the course of my career, I’ve learned to temper that straight-shooting tendency of mine.
I still can’t stand bullshit and have developed a reputation for giving tough love, but I’ve learned how to repackage it
The reason is simple: While my intentions might be genuine, if the delivery isn’t done right, it could have a negative impact and defeat the entire point of speaking up in the first place.
If you’re someone who struggles with being frank without making the other person feel attacked, here are some tips that I’ve found helpful:
1️⃣ Smile
You’ll never catch me screaming, shouting or cursing.
Even if I’m annoyed or disagree with what you say, I’ll often do so with a smile and gentle tone.
It’s all about the delivery and tone of voice.
2️⃣ Language
The language you use is important.
When I’m speaking with my clients, I tend to speak along the lines of:
“I know that I may be overstepping here, but I want to hold up a mirror to you to better understand who you are and I think that this can uncover some blind spots for you that you might not have realised before.”
3️⃣ Listen
When someone is speaking, I tamper down any urge to speak until they’re done
Listening is a skill that is often overlooked but it’s vital because when you keep quiet, you’ll notice the way the other person is speaking.
Whether it’s their use of certain words or emphasis on particular phrases.
Those are hints of what they might truly care about (even if it wasn’t expressed in that way).
And that’s when I jump in, sometimes pointing out the specific words themselves to better understand where they’re coming from (while ‘gently’ correcting any bullshit along the way!).
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And while my straight-shooting tendencies have definitely bit me in the behind before, I’ve found a way to package my “no bullshit” attitude into a skill and translate it into my job today as a career coach.
I’m paid to give it to my clients straight!
And that’s what I always say - your greatest strength could be your greatest weakness. And your greatest weakness is your greatest strength.
It’s all in how you package it.
Want to learn how to package your strengths and weaknesses? DM me “BULLSHIT” and I’d love to see how I can help.